Training Ronan helps me train my inner child
My dog, Ronan has been a huge challenge for me. I am still working on walking with a loose leash. He knows how to sit and lie down, but refuses to do these things if he thinks I am trying to catch him. And he’s always suspicious that I’m trying to catch him for something he doesn’t like. The one positive thing he does is go to his kennel willingly.
I enrolled in a dog training class online. It was eye-opening. They recommended non-stop treats for everything. The dog barks? Throw down treats as a distraction. Also, whenever I walk past him relaxing and NOT barking, give him a treat. Have Ronan go to a designated mat and sit next to him feeding one treat after another while he stays there. Then throw out a treat away from the mat to let him know he is free to go (add a “free” command).
There were so many treats involved that I quit feeding Ronan breakfast and used his breakfast kibbles as treats.
What was the point of all this treating? It was to make being together fun and positive. And to improve our relationship. It’s working! We are making progress in my training goals.
It got me wondering. Can I train myself in this way? What I mean is, there are behaviors I would rather not have, and can’t seem to stop them with the negative rant I give myself. I have “inner children” with whom I have a poor relationship.
One of those behaviors is bingeing on snacks. I usually do this when I’m stressed, like trying to deal with insurance companies at work. So I guess the first thing I need to do is figure out what kind of treat to use that’s not food. I suspect that loving, positive self-talk is a good place to start. It hasn’t been a full day yet, but I am already feeling a better relationship with myself. I’m at that stage of sitting on the mat and feeding myself a constant barrage of positive thoughts. I compliment myself for just being—over and over.
Break State: It’s hard to train a dog in the wrong state of mind. Ronan gets distracted and excited, and cannot concentrate on anything else without some help breaking that state of mind. At that time, I return home if I’m out and put him in a back room or his kennel to relax and have a nap. Then we can work on training again.
For my inner saboteurs, I must short circuit the stress that precede the desire for nuts. I sit for awhile reminding myself of how loved I am. How lovable. How loving. I bring in a big golden light into my phychic space. I also drink a big glass of water. Then I remind myself of how good I will feel when that insurance chore is done. (I recently retired from that job, so trigger solved.)
Another thing I am learning to do with Ronan is to break down desired behaviors into tinier chunks to make it more clear to him what I want. Instead of taking a long walk trying to correct his behavior, I just make it a few steps and give treats for walking right beside me. Then add in a few steps at a different pace. Later try making a turn or two. It might feel that it will be an eternity before we are taking an actual walk but I know it will be worth it. The important thing is to be patient with the little steps and end a session on a positive note.
What is my goal, here?
To reduce the unwanted behavior and establish a positive relationship with the part of me that is driving that behavior. Then to create an ally of the unwanted behavior part. It’s a long-term journey.