our true identity is the gold nugget
When I was little, my father once told me, “You’re so brilliant, you could find a golden nugget in a pile of manure.” He was talking about how I could reframe a seemingly bad situation into something positive, I think. But it was still about my outer environment. I was one of four children, and getting the good stuff was competitive and often difficult. There was never enough for us, so being able to find something good was a valuable attitude.
Now that I’m older (a lot older) The world within is my primary concern. The “I Am” is now my golden nugget. What hides the precious “I Am” is that proverbial pile of manure. After 75 years of piling up, digging to find that nugget of gold requires perseverance and belief.
What do I mean about the pile of manure? You might ask. “What is it, and where did it come from?” You could be startled by my answer. It is my very identity. And yours, as well. As we grow up, we acquire negative beliefs about ourselves. “I am not X.” Replace X with whatever messages you were given by parents, teachers and other children. Kids are constantly seeking to know who they are, and learning to extract that information from the messages in the world around them. This becomes the blockage to knowing the wonderful light within. Since these blockages have lodged in us as our identity, we don’t even recognize them for what they are—useless garbage.
I can feel your hackles rising as you defend your personal identity. Of course! You think you must protect your “self.” Who would you be without these blockages? That is the big question of life. It’s a question many of us try to answer by piling more on. We look for desirable things. We try to surround ourselves with the latest definition of beauty. And we also make up stories about why we can’t have what we want. We have our excuses. No judgment, here. We all do it to some extent.
We really want to make ourselves feel okay. So many of our thought patterns do the opposite—they make us feel bad. They’re beliefs embedded in our identity, telling us what we are not. As in not good enough, not rich enough, not talented enough, etc. And yet, we hold on to them because we think they’re our identity.
Look at it this way: The gold nugget of the I AM is encased by the lies of I AM NOT. Like a tootsie roll pop with the layers of hard candy and that chewy chocolate center. Reaching that center is where we finally get to feel good. The hard candy that surrounds it is just a sugar high.
Knowing the Light of your true self requires letting go of all the false beliefs about who you are. You’ll need a strong dose of willingness. It is easier to have the willingness if we are hungry for the Light or Truth of our being. Meditation helps. So does noticing the stream of chatter in your head and realizing that it isn’t you.